News of the WTF?

You don't f*** around with a bunch of scrabble champions.

God help the man who is brave enough to get between the legs of a woman who attempted to steal a 42-inch TV by sticking it under her skirt and squeezing it between her thighs.

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

Ah Denny's.

While some people may actually frown upon an Olympian deciding to "let off some steam" by knocking one too many back at local pub, I say good on the man - he has served his country and his ancestors well!

Now some people may think a kid who stays up for several days straight playing Xbox and then collapses from dehydration is an idiot but I have to commend him for his dedication to Modern Warfare 3 domination - he just shoulda drank more fluids.

Today in my finger-pointing session known as the "News of the WTF?" I take a minute to tell you about a guy who discovered just how bad things can get when you dry your underwear in the microwave.

Introducing Andrew Kahn, the most patient dude on the planet but even he has limits and just over fifteen hours on hold is where he draws the line.

I'm not sure what the deal is with all of these stories coming out of China involving sex toys but I'm starting to regret not choosing a stint on the West Coast when I was in the Navy.

As shocking as it may be, a woman who kept a pink stripper pole in her house turned out to be crazy and assaulted her boyfriend with that very pole and I tell you all about it in today's "News of the WTF?".

I have to admit that if you know you're gonna go down for drunk driving anyway you might as well go ahead and finish your beer before you get arrested.

Not that a shortage of man thongs is anything a typical Buzzhead would worry about but it was actually an issue last weekend when a bunch of folks in Ireland got together in an attempt to set the world's record for "naked people body painted in one place" and I have the story for you today in the latest edition of my "News of the WTF...