Heathen was born to 1 of 2 lesbian mothers, neither of which will take responsibility for him anymore. He went to school. School sucked. Pretty early on he noticed a surging fondness for boobs, breasts, knockers, ta-tas, sweater monkeys, you name it. So when he was old enough to get into the strip clubs, 13 I think, he found himself hanging around the dumpsters because they would also routinely kick him out for “egregiously groping the talent”, whatever that means. After a few years he realized that heaven was a place on earth, and guys could actually get paid to hang around these women by being what is commonly referred to as a sleazeball. Better known as the tittie bar dj. So he got his first job at the Poop-N-Shoot, a topless bar/firing range on the outskirts of an airport someplace where they don’t do background checks. Everything that happened between then and now is anybody’s guess, but I bet if you check enough “official” records, you’ll find something. Anyway, now he’s on the radio and we all have to put up with him. Nice.
KISS FM
Mansome Looks Like an Awesome Dude Flick [VIDEO]
We all know the chick-flick archetype. A woman does something that other women think something about and they all have a good cry. This is kind of the opposite of that.
For The Love Of All Things Rock Somebody Stop This! Tom Cruise Does "Pour Some Sugar On Me" [AUDIO]
This is for that movie “Rock Of Ages.” You know, the movie from the even dumber Broadway play? The one that will bring about Armageddon and the end of times? Yeah its that one.
Kick-Ass Kid Wakes Up Air-Drumming to Nirvana’s "Breed" [VIDEO]
This might just be the most kick ass kid in the world. His parents should win some kind of award for raising their kid this way.
If You Don’t Have ‘Whiskey Dick’ Yet, You’ll Want it! [VIDEO]
Listen, its very simple. The geniuses at EpicMealTime have developed an amazing new product that you must own. According to their press release:
“EpicMealTime is pleased to announce the launch of Whiskey Dick, the world’s first bourbon-flavored personal lubricant...
Johnny Depp Jams with Alice Cooper, Steven Tyler, Joe Perry and more at the "Dark Shadows" Premiere [VIDEO]
At a “Dark Shadows” movie premiere party in LA the other night, Alice Cooper and his band were the house band. Alice actually has a small part in the movie, which is why his band was there. So Johnny got up on stage to jam with his friend.
ZZ Top Debuts New Single in Jeremiah Weed Commercial [VIDEO]
Ok this is where we get down to the question, “is it selling out or not?” ZZ Top debuted their new single “I’ve Got To Get Paid” in a commercial for Jeremiah Weed beer.
So here are the arguments for both sides.
Selling Out:
1. Their using an original song
...
Head Joined Korn for "Blind" [VIDEO]
Yes it’s true, Head joined Korn onstage for “Blind”. If I didn’t know any better that sentence would make absolutely zero sense.
Coldplay Is Killing the Beastie Boys! [VIDEO]
I understand that everybody remembers in their own way. And there were a ton of tributes to the Beastie Boys and MCA after his untimely death Friday. But not this way.
Expendables 2 Trailer is Here! [VIDEO]
IT’S TIME TO GET AWESOME! Stallone just released the trailer for “The Expendables 2″. Yes it looks awesome. Yes it is awesome. Yes you will be more awesome by watching this clip of awesome.
Bar Rafaeli Naked in a Bathtub? Yes Please! [VIDEO]
I seriously don’t think there’s anything I need to say about this. So I won’t. Watch this. Many times possibly. Thank me later.
Wanna Open for Slash On Tour? [VIDEO]
Yes you, and I’m looking at you specifically, could open for Slash on his upcoming tour.
NO Don’t Eat The Baby! Lions are Funny. [VIDEO]
Time for our parents of the year awards. Although I have to say that I probably would have done this too because it’s funny.