Duff McKagan Recalls His Substance Abuse During First Solo Album

Duff McKagan's third solo album Lighthouse will be out tomorrow (Oct. 20), and he's come a long way since his first solo effort came out in 1993. In a new interview with The Guardian, the rocker recalled just how severe his substance abuse was back then, and said that you can actually hear it in the music.

The record, titled Believe in Me, came out in September of 1993, just a few months after Guns N' Roses' massive Use Your Illusion tour had ended.

“I was so fucked up when I made my first solo record,” McKagan admitted. "It’s a great snapshot of where I was at in 1992. I could still play. I played drums and all the shit on there, but I couldn’t sing. I had so much cocaine in my throat, and you can hear it all in my sinuses. Tenderness (2019) was a great snapshot of how I’d progressed, and this album is another progression for me.”

The bassist explained that the root of his alcoholism and drug use was his mental health. He'd been suffering from panic attacks since he was young, and was actually diagnosed with panic disorder as a teenager.

“You have safe people who can talk you through a panic attack. Slash was, and still is. Having a few rips off a vodka bottle would also stop it. I drank so much in my 20s to self-medicate and that’s not the way to do it," he continued.

Aside from his support from Slash, the rocker said that mental health wasn't talked about openly back when Guns N' Roses were on their way to fame, so his struggles were something he had to internalize for the most part.

“It just wasn’t talked about. I don’t know who I would have told about it. I just thought I was going fucking crazy. I’m a sensitive human... I didn’t really go through any of that macho rock star stuff. I wanted to be a great musician, and musicians are sensitive souls – even the gnarliest, like Mark Lanegan! Getting addicted to drugs and alcohol was never my intention. There’s nothing glamorous about it, and I was lucky to survive.”

McKagan's struggles with alcohol continued after the release of Believe in Me, though, and in 1994 it nearly cost him his life. The musician developed acute pancreatitis as a result of his drinking, and it expanded so much that it burst, according to his biography It's So Easy: And Other Lies. Then in the hospital, he became addicted to the morphine that was being used to treat his pain. It was after he was released that he realized it was time to get clean.

“We’ve had so much loss from drugs that you end up feeling like you’re here for a reason, man," McKagan concluded. "My reason is that I met Susan and we had our children. And if I can raise my hand about certain issues like panic attacks, depression and sobriety while I’m here in my second act, I’ll do it.”