fireworks

The Fourth of July usually means fireworks, BBQ and huge gatherings; the celebration of the birth of our republic.  But before you plan your celebration there are a few do’s and dont's and things that you just need to be up-to-speed on: Do have fun...

Make no mistake about it — there have been many parties that have gone from bad to worse simply because they involve a wild, liquored-up orgy full of sadistic pyromaniacs with only half a brain between them.

Does anyone else notice that it's just guys who are blowing themselves up?

Fireworks may have originally been a product of China, but there is nothing more American than setting these babies on fire for July 4th. Alcohol also happens to be a big part of our Independence Day traditions, and when booze is combined with firecrackers things can get pretty messy.

Police in New York confiscated some 5,000 POUNDS of illegal fireworks. That's a crapload of boomsticks and whistlin' snizzers. Usually when cops catch some illegal stuff they have to burn the evidence. And that's what they did this time too. What happens when you put fireworks in a giant fire? Awesome happens, that's what. Dig this.

So yeah I understand that there's a crapload of fires everywhere in Texas. And would never be one to put firefighters in more jeopardy than they already are. But this is Independence Day dammit! And I want some fireworks. So here's me, with the aid of a midget friend, not one of my daughters CPS, and some sparklers. Enjoy!

Simple enough. With the drought and extreme wildfire conditions going on in our state I figured it would be nice to show you where they have banned fireworks from being set off. In pretty  much all of these counties they have also cancelled any city fireworks displays too so you might as well avoid them all-together if you're looking for a show...

Sorry folks, fireworks are like pot and porn, no matter what you're going to do, you're not going to make them go away. Read more after the break.