Heathen

Heathen was born to 1 of 2 lesbian mothers, neither of which will take responsibility for him anymore.  He went to school.  School sucked.  Pretty early on he noticed a surging fondness for boobs, breasts, knockers, ta-tas, sweater monkeys, you name it.  So when he was old enough to get into the strip clubs, 13 I think, he found himself hanging around the dumpsters because they would also routinely kick him out for “egregiously groping the talent”, whatever that means.  After a few years he realized that heaven was a place on earth, and guys could actually get paid to hang around these women by being what is commonly referred to as a sleazeball.  Better known as the tittie bar dj.  So he got his first job at the Poop-N-Shoot, a topless bar/firing range on the outskirts of an airport someplace where they don’t do background checks.  Everything that happened between then and now is anybody’s guess, but I bet if you check enough “official” records, you’ll find something.  Anyway, now he’s on the radio and we all have to put up with him.  Nice.