If you’ve visited any of our local nightclubs here in Wichita Falls, you’ve most likely spotted these seven types of female club-goers. Maybe you were one. Alcohol has a funny way of bringing out the beast within us all and, after all, girls just wanna have fun.
The “Recently Single” Girl
She’s back! Ms.Hebrokemyheart is reunited with her girls! She’s missed the single life and ready to make up for lost time. Her skirt is two sizes too small and she’s throwing back the tequila shots with a group of strangers she just “befriended.” She’s dragging any guy that approaches her onto the dance floor (even that old man that only dances by himself.) Once “that” song comes on and the tequila catches up to her, the night will take a huge turn for the worse. The party will be moved to the Ladies’ Room where there will be running mascara and awkwardly long hugs from her girlfriends. There will most likely be an unwarranted text to an ex that’ll only complicate the mess.
The “Boujee and Bored” Girl
Don’t you dare insult her by offering to buy her a beer. She has a strict diet and only drinks low-carb drinks but sure, you can still pay. That’ll be $14.00 and don’t forget to tip your waitress. When she’s not in the restroom “touching up” she’s scrolling through social media to find where everyone is at. You can forget getting her red bottoms on the dance floor because “Ewww.” She’ll finally leave early but not before letting it be known how lame this place is first.
The “Bossed Up B****”
Every group needs one of these. She’s I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T and she wants everyone to have a good time! Drinks are on her all night and she knows which mixed drinks are the best. She’s holding the car keys for everyone else and leading the pack. The flock will follow once she finally changes bars and no matter how much she drinks, the girl never seems buzzed. She’s superhuman.
The “DD” Girl
She knows her purpose is to eventually hold hair by the end of the night and she’s not too pleased about it. She sips her water imagining it’s vodka and keeps reminding everyone how early she has to wake up in the morning. She won’t dance and compulsively checks the time all night. She’ll exchange a few fake smiles to her friends but secretly wonders why they all didn’t just Uber.
The “Dancing Machine”
Yes, Def Leppard brings out the moves in us all but this one came for the cardio. She missed her moment on Dancing with the Stars but tonight she’s ready to Wobble, Three Step, Cumbia, Tectonic and Twerk with the best. Get out of her way! She’s closing the bar down and anyone she shares the lime light with is only a prop on HER stage.
The “Lonely Lioness”
Everyone remembers the nutty redhead from The Wedding Crashers movie that hauntingly tells Vince Vaughn that she’ll “find him” if he ever leaves her. Well, we found her at all the Wichita Falls nightclubs. You bought her one drink and she immediately changed her relationship status on social media and now you’ve caught on she just might be a clinger. She’s hunting you like a lioness after a gazelle and sending a death stare to any other females that might threaten her future of a happy ending. Never underestimate the creativity of a rejected Lonely Lioness. She’ll go to great lengths to get you or to destroy you.
The “I’ve-Got-to-Pee” Girl
Ah, we couldn’t complete this list without an honorable mention for that girl with the demanding bladder. She’s very vocal about her need to relieve herself but seems to spend a great amount of time in the parking lot once the bar has closed. Please, somebody get that girl a toilet!
Everyone enjoys a good Girls-Night-Out, and chances are good every group has at least one of these seven. These are just a few types you can expect when clubbing in Wichita Falls. Can you think of any we missed?