Sometimes you just need to reminiscence on the good old days. By that I mean killing parts of my brain and liver with Four Loko.

Look, I'm not here to say that Four Loko was some amazing drink. It had a purpose, to get you drunk on the cheap. That's what it did and I was personally thankful for it as a broke college kid. A couple cans of those and I was having a good night. Four Loko changed their recipe awhile ago and it was never the same. Then I saw this commercial.

Four Loko partnered with Barstool Sports to make Pirate Water. Since Barstool patterned with New Amsterdam Vodka to make Pink Whitney, I thought I would give these things a try. The problem, no one in Wichita Falls has them. The closest stores to us are all in Lawton. Let's Smokey and the Bandit some Pirate Water over state lines and see if they're any good.

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Bahama Mamma

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This was the first one I had. Not good, in fact awful. I would never by this again. Avoid at all costs. My expectations were now in the gutter for these things.

Margarita

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Like I said, expectations so low at this point. Crack open this one next thinking I would hate it even more since pre packaged margarita flavoring didn't sound good. To my surprise, good. Really good in fact. Just tasted like a lime. Would definitely buy again.

Miami Vice

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Another winner, honestly at this point I think I must have gotten a bad batch of the Bahama Mamma. No way it could taste as bad as it did. Maimi Vice is supposed to be part Strawberry Daiquiri and Pina Colada. I don't taste coconut in the Pirate Water, but the strawberry is there.

Sex on the Beach

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Guess what, also good. So avoid the Bahama Mamma at all costs and just get the other three if you happen to see them. I would 100% order the margarita one again. The other two I said were good would probably get purchased again on the rare occasion.