Exactly How Much Stuff CAN You Fit in Your Rectum?
Rectum? Damn near killed him! Sorry, we couldn’t resist.
So here’s something to talk about at your next church picnic. Just how much stuff can you actually fit in your rectum?
We hear stories all the time about drug mules with balloons of heroin up there, or people who use their no-go-hole to smuggle guns. But just what is the capacity?
According to a gastrointestinal expert at the University of North Carolina, Dr. William Whitehead, the maximum capacity of the average rectum is 350 to 500 milliliters. That equates to about a pint in terms of volume, like a pint of beer.
But wait! That’s not all! There are exceptions. Whitehead says that people who stretch their rectums can pack a buttload of more stuff up into their growlers – scientifically speaking of course. In case you were wondering (please tell us you weren’t), the best way to stretch your rectum is constipation or to deny yourself when you really need to hit the bathroom.
‘Rectum stretchers’ can develop something called Megarectums, which can hold up to three times what standard rectums can. In theory, they could even smuggle a full kilo of cocaine up there.
So if you’ve learned nothing else from this, at least you learned that there’s such a thing as a Megarectum. Now go entertain your friends.