Why Can’t I Be A Prophet?

I was watching the news and they had a story about a polygamist cult and I started to think, why can’t I start a cult?  Read more after the break.

Why can’t I start a cult?  It’s simple, scruples.  I’m even having a hard time writing this article.  The bottom line is that I don’t feel like I should force my beliefs, or even lack of them on someone else. I don’t think it’s my place to determine how you live your life.

There’s other reasons too.  Despite the initial appeal of multiple wives, I think that would be too much pressure.  I’d rather just watch t.v.  and with that many wives you’d never get to choose what’s on.  And who wants an absolute flock of kids? It’s hard enough to remember the names of just a couple.

I like the idea of a compound, but what fun is a big place if it’s all full of people?  Then there’s other simple questions like, do I get my own bathroom?  I sure as hell don’t want to be behind 13 wives and 25 kids when Charlie wants to leave the Chocolate Factory.

I’ve made jokes before on the air about how “I know everything”, but I’ve really always encouraged everybody to think for themselves.  I don’t think I could “control” so many lives.  I think my time as a cult leader would end with a Kool-Aid party, but I’d probably be the only one drinking the Kool-Aid.