From the 'Hold My Beer and Watch This' file comes this video of a genius lighting a fire cracker in his ear and immediately regretting it. Just like the Harvard hopeful that taped firecrackers to his mouth, this dude found out the hard way that even in small amounts, gunpowder will f*ck you up.

On the bright side, we now know of yet another use for gauged ears aside from boring stuff like putting earrings in them. Next time you're stuck on the side of the road, just stick a flare in there because ya know - laying 'em on the pavement is just too damn mundane for 2014. And everybody knows how to light a grill with their hands, I wanna see someone do it with a match sticking out of their ear. That way you have two hands free to deal with those pesky flames that are sure to immediately engulf your head.

History is full of sacrifices made by those for the greater good of society. Certainly ol' firecracker ears will be added to the list of those who gave so much yet wanted nothing in return.