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Texas Ranger’s New $26 Hotdog Proves Everything Really is Bigger in Texas

Champion Dog
photo courtesy of The Texas Rangers

The Texas Rangers unveiled a new menu item that would be available in the ballparks new center field restaurant,the Capt. Morgan Club,  this coming season. Let me  introduce you to the “Champion Dog” a 1lb nearly two foot long coney topped with cheese, onions, chili, and jalapenos it is also served with fries. The dog, which serves 4, is roughly the same length as a tee ball bat. Texas Rangers President Nolan Ryan, however believes that Ranger’s outfielder David Murphy could take on the beast as he  said on a Dallas radio show last week.

If you find yourself enjoying a game at the ballpark this summer but do not want to mess with finding a table at the restaurant simply saunter on over to a concession stand where they are selling the same dog under a different name. ‘The Boomstick”, named after Rangers slugger Nelson Cruz and his ability to “drop the boomstick” when he gets a hold of a fastball. This version of the monster weiner comes with a carrying case. It even has handles!

This monter of a sausage joins the 3 lb pretzel already offered at the ballpark as being diet destroying man-feasts. Despite the calorie intake that has got to be over 3,000 and the price tag that rivals what I paid for the steak I had last night I believe I will be succumbing to the awesomeness that is the
Boomstick on opening day. I mean we only live once right? Besides its not a day at the ballpark unless you overspend on food, beer, and pepto.

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