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Stryker’s Movie Reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

I was so nervous about my childhood being forever ruined when I went and saw this movie. I will always go to watch the Ninja Turtles kick some ass in the theater.

First let me say, I am going to keep the spoilers to a minimum. I was huge fan of Ninja Turtles when I was a kid. Lets be honest, what kid that grew up in the late 80s and early 90s was not? It was literally everywhere and then we got some awesome movies. Especially the original 1990 one. It was dark, the turtles “cussed” (seen below) and it was the turtles on the big screen.

Then we got a sequel, which was definitely more kid friendly. The turtles don’t use their weapons, no cussing and this movie just screams 90s with a Vanilla Ice concert at the end. Don’t get me wrong I love this movie, but it just wasn’t as action packed as the first one. Then we got TMNT 3, I am not even going to discuss this one. Don’t watch this movie EVER!

Then when I was in high school I heard a new Ninja Turtles movie was coming out. Yes, even as a kid in high school I got super excited. Then I found out it was a CGI movie, no live action. What the hell? I want my Ninja Turtles movies to be live action or you don’t make them. Turns out it wasn’t that bad, but it did not do justice to the Ninja Turtles movies from my childhood.

Seven years later a live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was announced needless to say I was excited. Then little details started getting released. The Ninja Turtles were going to be aliens from space, Meghan Fox is April O’Neil and Michael Bay was directing it. I should have stayed off the internet researching this movie. Turns out the alien plot was thrown out the window and Michael Bay only produced the movie. Now lets get down to the highlights of this movie.

It actually had some bad ass Ninja Turtles fight scene’s. The turtles had all their correct roles. Michelangelo actually made me laugh out loud quite a bit in the movie. Raphael was his normal bad ass self and somehow they made Donatello even more of a nerd. For once though, Donatello actually kicks some ass in this one. Instead of sitting in a lab cracking codes. Lets get to Leonardo. I have to admit I was waiting for him to say, “Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to Jackass”. It was just weird hearing his voice as the leader of the Ninja Turtles.

Shredder got some awesome 2014 upgrades with magnetized robot claws. The rating on the movie was PG-13 so I was waiting for some of that Ninja Turtles cussing from my childhood. Raphael at one point in the movie did say, “We’re getting our asses kicked out there.” Hell yeah my childhood self screamed on the inside. Now with a Michael Bay movie we were all waiting for some over the top action and explosions. With the exception of one 18 wheeler scene, I would say nothing was over the top with the action scenes.

I have been seeing a lot of people hating on Meghan Fox’s performance of April O’Neil. I didn’t think she was as bad as everyone portrayed her to be. Granted we had one scene where we were forced to stare at her butt. In this movie, April O’Neil is not the award winning journalist we remember. It seems like she is just starting out and no one is taking her seriously. She was not better than Paige Turco as April O’Neil, but she was not as terrible as everyone is talking about.

Finally lets get to the part that no other live action Ninja Turtles movie had. THE TURTLE VAN! That’s right the amazing van the turtles would ride around in all the time during the cartoons from the 80s and 90s does make an appearance. I literally let out a gasp when I saw it. It was the coolest toy back in the day and I finally got to see it on the big screen.

Got to get to the negatives now, sorry. How come Casey Jones was not in the movie? Seriously the first guy in my life that I considered an all around bad ass did not make an appearance. The cool, hockey mask wearing, foot clan ass kicking, vigilante was not in the movie.

Shredder was obviously in it, but can we please get another villain we all remember in one of these live action movies. Krang is the obvious choice. Baxter Stockman, Leatherhead, or Rat King. I would even settle for Bebop and Rocksteady. Back in the day Krang used to be Shredders boss and I think he would be amazing on the big screen.

Needless to say I had a great time watching it. If you’re a fan of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’, this movie does it justice. It does not exceed the original, but it was still good. If you have kids now, they will love it. So go chow down on some pizza and go relive your childhood. Also here is my list of the best Ninja Turtles movies of all time, straight to video movies do not count for this list.

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze

4. TMNT (2007)

5. TMNT 3 (This one will always be at the bottom)

 

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