Best. Obituary. Ever.
It isn’t often that an obituary becomes viral, but that’s exactly what happened last week in the Denver area. Michael “Flathead” Blanchard passed away, and when his obituary was published in the Denver Post, it really turned some heads.
While some people simply want to be remembered at their funerals, it seems as though Blanchard simply wanted people to stop by and tell their stories about him, good and bad. His obit tells stories of booze and women, even adding that “Baby Yaga can kiss his butt.” I’m not sure who Baby Yaga is, but someone is either irked by that statement or gets the inside joke.
I want an obituary this badass when I die. Here’s it is as published in the Denver Post:
A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April 14, 3 p.m. 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.
Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.
Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.
What would your obituary say?