Researches have found that men who are castrated tend to live longer. Now if you are going to that extreme - and we're not saying that you should - to extend your life, there's probably a few things you might want to consider first.

Here are the top 16 questions you should ask yourself before you say goodbye to your family jewels:

  • 1

    Am I ready to become a Matchbox Twenty fan?

  • 2

    Would it be cheaper to listen to Coldplay until my nuts wither away?

  • 3

    How much will Chaz Bono pay me for them?

  • 4

    Should I pay thousands of dollars to have this done by a professional in the U.S.? Or fifty bucks to have it done by some dude in a straw hat in Thailand?

  • 5

    Can doctors take what's left of my scrotum and fold it into a delightful origami swan?

  • 6

    Does Corvette make a model expensive enough to compensate for a loss like this?

  • 7

    Since dogs who've had their genitals cut off still hump everything in sight, will the world afford ME the same luxury?

  • 8

    How awesome will it be, when I can reenact that super-hot scene from %22Silence of the Lambs%22, WITHOUT going through the trouble of tucking my junk between my legs?

  • 9

    How rich will I feel when I can FINALLY stop blowing all my spare cash on athletic supporters?

  • 10

    Will the time machine I just built successfully take me back to 16th Century Europe, so I can gain celebrity as an angelic-voiced %22castrati?%22

  • 11

    How many Tour de Frances can I win?

  • 12

    Am I ready to start wearing skinny jeans and scarves?

  • 13

    Can the doctor install a zipper so I can store my valuables in there?

  • 14

    Do I want my only choice at karaoke to be Bee Gees songs?

  • 15

    If I have the operation, what will I scratch mindlessly?

  • 16

    Can't I essentially accomplish the exact same thing, simply by agreeing to get married?