16 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Getting Castrated
Researches have found that men who are castrated tend to live longer. Now if you are going to that extreme – and we're not saying that you should – to extend your life, there's probably a few things you might want to consider first.
Here are the top 16 questions you should ask yourself before you say goodbye to your family jewels:
Am I ready to become a Matchbox Twenty fan?
Would it be cheaper to listen to Coldplay until my nuts wither away?
How much will Chaz Bono pay me for them?
Should I pay thousands of dollars to have this done by a professional in the U.S.? Or fifty bucks to have it done by some dude in a straw hat in Thailand?
Can doctors take what's left of my scrotum and fold it into a delightful origami swan?
Does Corvette make a model expensive enough to compensate for a loss like this?
Since dogs who've had their genitals cut off still hump everything in sight, will the world afford ME the same luxury?
How awesome will it be, when I can reenact that super-hot scene from "Silence of the Lambs", WITHOUT going through the trouble of tucking my junk between my legs?
How rich will I feel when I can FINALLY stop blowing all my spare cash on athletic supporters?
Will the time machine I just built successfully take me back to 16th Century Europe, so I can gain celebrity as an angelic-voiced "castrati?"
How many Tour de Frances can I win?
Am I ready to start wearing skinny jeans and scarves?
Can the doctor install a zipper so I can store my valuables in there?
Do I want my only choice at karaoke to be Bee Gees songs?
If I have the operation, what will I scratch mindlessly?
Can't I essentially accomplish the exact same thing, simply by agreeing to get married?
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