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16 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Getting Castrated

flickr/ Philippe Put

Researches have found that men who are castrated tend to live longer. Now if you are going to that extreme – and we're not saying that you should – to extend your life, there's probably a few things you might want to consider first.

Here are the top 16 questions you should ask yourself before you say goodbye to your family jewels:


1

Am I ready to become a Matchbox Twenty fan?

 
 
 
2

Would it be cheaper to listen to Coldplay until my nuts wither away?

 
 
 
3

How much will Chaz Bono pay me for them?

 
 
 
4

Should I pay thousands of dollars to have this done by a professional in the U.S.? Or fifty bucks to have it done by some dude in a straw hat in Thailand?

 
 
 
5

Can doctors take what's left of my scrotum and fold it into a delightful origami swan?

 
 
 
6

Does Corvette make a model expensive enough to compensate for a loss like this?

 
 
 
7

Since dogs who've had their genitals cut off still hump everything in sight, will the world afford ME the same luxury?

 
 
 
8

How awesome will it be, when I can reenact that super-hot scene from "Silence of the Lambs", WITHOUT going through the trouble of tucking my junk between my legs?

 
 
 
9

How rich will I feel when I can FINALLY stop blowing all my spare cash on athletic supporters?

 
 
 
10

Will the time machine I just built successfully take me back to 16th Century Europe, so I can gain celebrity as an angelic-voiced "castrati?"

 
 
 
11

How many Tour de Frances can I win?

 
 
 
12

Am I ready to start wearing skinny jeans and scarves?

 
 
 
13

Can the doctor install a zipper so I can store my valuables in there?

 
 
 
14

Do I want my only choice at karaoke to be Bee Gees songs?

 
 
 
15

If I have the operation, what will I scratch mindlessly?

 
 
 
16

Can't I essentially accomplish the exact same thing, simply by agreeing to get married?

 
 
 

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