The Midnight Writer

The ultimate authority on record-breaking achievement is the Guinness Book of World Records. Some Guinness World Records are shocking. Some are insane. More than a few are downright disgusting. There are some Guinness World Records that are damn hot. From women with massive chests to balloon busting babes, here are eight Guinness records that are pretty sexy.

You can learn a lot about a person based on 1) where they live and 2) their internet history. Today I learned the US is filled with fans of creampies and not the kind made by Hostess.

'Kick-Ass 2' hit theaters, which means the number of masked vigilantes on the prowl will quadruple.

Yesterday, I overheard one dude-bro discussing with another dude-bro his flatlining relationship and the correct procedure to "dump the nut job."

Our philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.

Did you know Kate Upton is filming a movie in the Hamptons with Mrs. Judd Apatow and the girl who really hasn't done much since 'The Mask' but once got Ben Stiller's sperm in her hair?

Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film. Check out the cannons attached to those cannons...

This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme of the comedy group Broken Lizard. Kevin and Steve sat down to discuss their careers, facial hair, which member of the group would be the most edible and their new stand-up special 'Fat Man Little Boy' which hits Netflix this Friday, March 1st.

The legend of the Hulk Hogan we all loved as kid's is slowly fading faster than his orange day-glo skin or maybe he was always a freak and it was easier to hide back in the day.

Roads? Where we are going we don't need roads. A body of water wouldn't hurt though.

Sure to be loved by all Pokeman fans and hated by women who actually want to wear a comfortable bra -- the Rhinestone Pokeball Bra is now available on Etsy.

We'll admit that parking spots are getting smaller in most parking lots but this driver is parking her BMW like she's trying to fit a submarine into a kid's pool.