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What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing Police Would Find At Your House?

What's the Most Embarrassing Thing Police Would Find in Your house?
Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images

If for some reason you were under investigation for a crime and the police came to your house, what is the most embarrassing thing they would find?

This question was posted recently on Reddit.com and the some of the answers they received make me never want to visit another persons house, although I’m sure No. 4 could apply to any house with a man in it.

So here are some of the best answers that people submitted. And if you think you can do better, let us know what embarrassing item police would find at your house in the comment section below.

1. “I visited the country Bhutan where the symbol of good luck is a penis.  I bought a hand-crafted black demon penis with wings attached.  It’s in my living room.” – It sounds cool, but if you want luck why not hang up a horse shoe. It would seem a little less gay.

2. “I am a guy with a complete collection of all BRITNEY SPEARS’ CDs.” – Does anyone else think this ones okay?

3. “My bowl of very dusty condoms.” – This is just sad.

4. “If they used one of those ‘CSI’ black lights, I can’t even imagine what they’d see.” – This one could apply to any house with a man living in it.

5. “I have something called poop scissors.  It’s because I have irregular bowel movements.  I only poop a few times a week, so they’re so big they clog the toilet every time and I need to use these scissors to chop them up to get them down the pipes.” – This is just weird and disgusting, and I’m sure they have a pill that could do the same thing.

6. “I have a backpack filled with old stuffed animals I hope to give to my kids one day . . . but, right now, I’m a single adult male.” – Can you say pedophile.

7. “Probably my homemade sex doll.” – Just probably?

8. “My ID stating that I’m 31… in my room… in my parents house.” – It’s probably time to move out.

9. “My extensive collection of Furbies.” – They were cool at one time.

10. “My huge-ass hydroponic grow room with all that tasty pot………. Oh wait, I live in Colorado, so no fear!” – Lucky.

11. “Nothing, and everyone would finally realize how pathetic my life was.” – We’ve all been there.

12. “A Kanye West CD.” – In my book, way worse than the collection of Britney Spears’ CDs.

13. “Nice try, NSA” – Probably more true than you think.

14. “Pictures of me masturbating to images of police officers investigating crime scenes.” – I’m sure they would be flattered.

15. “A pink unicorn plush with a penis has a horn… Don’t judge me!” – I don’t even know what to say to that.

 

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