The Grossest & Best Foods in Texas
Recently, fashionbeans.com compiled a list of “Every State’s Grossest Food That People Love” that left me wondering: Have these people ever been to Texas, or is this just a really weird, wildly inaccurate stereotyping?
The said, Texas’ grossest food that everyone loves is fried butter.
I have never eaten fried butter. I don’t know anyone who has eaten fried butter, and I’ve never once seen it for sale at the fair, which is a real indicator that this list is a bunch a bull.
Furthermore, fried butter debuted at the Iowa Fair. There’s not too much Texas about it.
So what are gross foods everyone in Texas likes? I informally polled some real Texans and got the following answers:
Ranch Dressing & Crackers
People who have worked long enough in the food industry can relate to this. Occasionally, some very Texan person (usually a woman) will ask in lieu of the traditional free chips and salsa to be served ranch and crackers.
Now, I love a good buttermilk, homemade ranch as much as anyone else. But the yucky, creamy paste texture you’re creating in your mouth eating straight ranch and crackers is vile. But, if you love it, you know that there is not a single restaurant in Texas that doesn’t stock ranch dressing.
Legend has it that Calf Fries (know in other parts of the country as Rocky Mountain Oysters) originated in Fort Worth. In case you were unaware, they are battered, deep-fried bull testicles. I have never tried one, and it’s possible they are delicious, but I will never, ever know. Here in Texas, they are loved to the point of having entire musical festivals in their honor.
Hot Cheetos are incredibly delicious and insanely addictive. Sure, folks in LA would agree with us (lucky for me, I lived both places), but here in Texas we make nachos out of them, which is genius. Of course, any food that is so saturated with red dye that you can literally overdose on them is kinda gross.
Convenience Store Gizzards
Deep-fried animal guts under a hot lamp from Lamesa to Laredo. You can find them in small towns (and bigger ones, too) easily, but why would you want to?
Is it cloying to the point of hurting your mouth? Did you have to take insulin even though you’re not diabetic? Then you probably drank Texas-style sweet tea, which leaves a sticky film in your mouth. Yuck. That’s probably why so many people nowadays order their tea half-and-half with unsweet, just to make it a normal amount of sweet.