Hot Mess of the Day

Name: Comfy Carl Location: That poor woman's lap. Occupation: The world's first cold-blooded, colorblind camouflage designer. Hobbies: Chutes n' Ladders tournaments, mouthbreathing, and taking up a very small amount of space on the subway...

Name: Rhonda and Rodney Rainbow Location: San Francisco, CA Occupation: Owners and operators of Rhonda and Rodney's Rowdy Rickshaw - A bar pick-up service for the intoxicated and adventurous. Spend Their Free Time: "I mean, getting into the costumes pretty much eats up most of the day...

Name: Larry Lechuga Location: Just outside the fence at Disney's Epcot Center. Occupation: Produce distributor and hug philanthropist. Spends His Free Time: Scaring the ever-loving guts out of everyone he meets. Interests: Face painting, his vintage Doc Martin collection, vegetarianism and free love...

Names: Sharon ‘Shar’ and Gary ‘Gar’ Pendergast Occupations: Shar- Assistant Manager at Pizza Hut Express. Gar- Retired 90′s hair model Interests: Florida timeshares, nudist conventions, jewelry-making, funny/cute cat videos and RVs (We have four...

Name: Sassy Stanley Occupation: Former aerobics instructor (forced into retirement) / current Jeff Bridges impersonator. Interests: Retro clothing, Lebowski Fest, REO Speedwagon, sidewalk yoga, wedgies and Jazzercise. Hobbies: Stretching, shopping, bulge rearranging, and walking because for some reason I never get picked up while hitchhiking...

Click through to learn all about this tractor lickin' queen.

Name: The Joker on Crack