"I would hide every chair in the world just so you'd have to sit on my face."

That is one of the best from a collection of hilarious/offensive (and NSFW) quotes my new hero is trying in the above video. Sure, he's not gonna get any play with lines like, "I'm no weatherman but you could be expecting more than a few inches tonight", but you don't know if you don't try.

So if you use one of the above lines and it actually works - you are the man (and you owe me).