This Master Chief Petty Officer has perfected the art of ass chewing.

As a former sailor, I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a Chief Petty Officer’s wrath. Trust me, it’s funny as hell when you’re on the outside looking in, but not so much when it’s directed at you.

Apparently some crew member aboard an unidentified ship had the bright idea to masturbate into other sailors’ towels in their berthing area. After four reports of it happening, ol’ Master Chief decides it’s time to address the situation the only way a sailor knows how – with an f-bomb laced tirade that sugar coats nothing.

In between cuss words, Master Chief informs the berthing area’s inhabitants that he’ll post two watches in every aisle if it ever happens again. He wraps up the berating by encouraging the sailors to “have a heart-to-heart down here to figure out what the f**k is going on.”

I’m not sure, but I’d be willing to bet a dollar to a donut that it never happened again.