Motley Crue Will Tour with Poison

So the last few years it's been obvious that Motley Crue has been on a teeter-totter of cool versus ass. Ass just won out. First Vince Neil has gone from hosting "chicken-dance" competitions to "Skating with the Stars" to being a stereotypical rock star douche by being caught DUI (after killing a guy in a DUI accident early in his career). Then you have Tommy Lee who's "Methods of Mayhem" is a non-starter. Nikki Sixx is currently hosting an incredibly bad radio show (girl d.j. pretends like she gives a sh*t about an aging rock stars stories and lack of personality). As for Mick Marrs, I suspected he was a corpse several years ago. Apparently the band has figured out that those paychecks aren't coming as often as they used to and now will tour with, get ready-POISON! The announcement of this "Tour of the Summer" was announced by Bret Michaels on the incredibly rock and roll-Piers Morgan show. This tour will take place as Ho-magnet Bret puts the finishing touches on his country album. Check out this quote from Blabbermouth.com

Michaels' yet-to-be-titled country solo album is scheduled for release later this year. The record continues to draw and expand on Bret's vibrant country rock roots and will very much appeal to fans of such acts as KENNY CHESNEY, KEITH URBAN, TRACE ADKINS, SUGARLAND and more.

I always blamed Poison (and not Grunge) for killing metal. They took it too pop, they poured sugar in its gas tank, they put lipstick on it, whatever you want to say. As for the Crue, it was "two and out for me". I was gone after "Shout at the Devil", but I could see how some of you thought "Dr. Feelgood" was a return to form. Anyways it just kills me that guys who had a see through pentagram on one album are now going to tour with four guys who dressed like girls. Motley Crue has officially taken whatever cred they had with me and stomped it out like a spent cigarette butt.

Whoa..I just had an epiphany. You know how you watch the movies where someone makes a deal with the devil for fame or something then the devil shows up wanting payback for his end of the deal? This must be the devil getting his payback for making the Crue popular at one time-they must now stoke the fires of hell with their embarrassment over being on this tour!

Seriously Poison's metal was as fake as Brett Michaels hair. They suck and they make me want to hate the few good bands that came out of that era. Let's not forget we got great music from Ozzy, Dio and even Priest at that time. Now all that anyone remembers is a bunch of choads with bandannas around their knees.

Now this is the point where I usually insert a video, but both of these bands can piss off. I'm going to listen to the new Bullet For My Valentine. Here's hoping that Brett Michaels will fall into a diabetic coma long enough for Tommy Lee to dick slap him across the face.