Man Attacks Woman With Pool Noodle Over Watermelon Dispute

When you’re at the beach, you have enough to deal with. Seagulls, kids running into you, Jaws circling in the waters off-shore, and now you can add to that list: Being attacked with a pool noodle. That recently happened to a Florida woman when she was attacked by man wielding a noodle, and it was all over a watermelon dispute!

Yes, you read that correctly.

Karl Ludwig Eichner apparently carved up a melon and had it resting on the beach while he went into the water with his pool noodle. The victim was near the watermelon and threw it into the water because it was attracting bugs. Eichner, however, wouldn’t have such a fate for his melon and placed it back on the beach, to which the victim responded by throwing the melon back into to the water.

Can you really blame her? It’s a beach, it’s hot, and the bugs are just waiting for a tasty treat!

That’s when Eichner got really upset.

"Eichner approached the woman with his swim noodle full of water and dumped the water on her as she was sitting on her towel," according to the police report. "He then punched her in the cheek."

Now, I’m not for violence in any form, whether it be against a man or a woman. But you have to admit, using your pool noodle as a weapon is pretty funny. Punching her in the face, not so funny. But he’s being held on a $1,000 bond and being charged with battery, so I have to thank him for being a moron and being in the news.