Not everybody has the finesse to pull off a robbery. Such is the case of a Des Moines man over the weekend when he assaulted a police officer. He didn’t use his fists or a baseball bat, however. His weapon of choice was a stuffed monkey.

When Preston James Phipps entered a Git-N-Go on Saturday night, he made a mess of the store while “shopping.” When a clerk asked what he was doing, Phipps responded by telling her, “Don’t you worry about it. I’m going back to prison anyway.” He then proceeded to leave the store with a pair of sunglasses, two packs of smokeless tobacco, and two stuffed monkeys, one pink and one orange.

After leaving the store, a police officer was flagged down and told Phipps made a mess of the place. When the officer questioned Phipps, he turned aggressive and swung at the officer, hitting him in the face with one of the colorful animals.

Now he’s been arrested and charged with fifth-degree theft, disorderly conduct, and assault on a police officer.

That’s a story to tell your cell mates. It takes a true bad-ass to fight a cop with a stuffed monkey.

This is one that I seriously would like to have seen. As soon as that monkey started whipping around, my camera would be at the ready.

Have you ever been in a fight? Did you use stuffed animals in your attack plan?

Des Moines Register