Holiday Greetings from Chuck Norris
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Of course Chuck Norris isn’t going to send out your ordinary Christmas card, instead he has made this video and uploaded it to Youtube so everyone can see his latest and greatest accomplishment. Standing between two planes, doing the splits, with a group of men standing on his head. Classic Norris.
But wait! You can’t have a Chuck Norris post without some facts (jokes) from his actual life.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
All Chuck Norris wants for Christmas is your two front teeth.
Chuck Norris doesn’t give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn’t real, it’s when he learns Chuck Norris is.