Contact Us

Hogwash! Pork Shortages Prediction Is Surely Overblown…I Hope

iStockphoto

News Flash!  Dateline-CBS News September 25, 2012-Britain’s National Pig Association warns global pork shortage unavoidable!

Can this be true?  How did this happen?  Is it a conspiracy?

This bacon shortage business has me worried. What are we going to do if we run out of bacon?  I subscribe to the notion that bacon makes everything better.  For that matter, all things pork makes everything better.  This could well be a sign of the aporkcalypse!

Can you even fathom a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner without a ham?  Pork and beans without the pork?  What about our cherished German communities at Windthorst, Scotland and Muenster?  What’s an Oktoberfest without German sausage?  Cultural chaos is at hand!

This is a matter of great national pride and importance here in The Republic.  It’s also an issue for the rest of America as well.  The drought our nation has suffered has caused corn and soybean futures to rise which may put the kibosh on hog production across the nation!

And what has been the government’s response?  Silence!  It’s as if they could care less about our needs!  The Kansas City and North Carolina bar-b-que industry may well collapse!  Hundreds, perhaps thousands more added to the unemployment rolls!  I can hear the panic in Les Nesman’s voice right now!  Hunger may ravage our land!

I, for one, will not be caught off guard.  The family and I have already begun taking counter measures: stocking up on bacon, breakfast sausage, German sausage and ham.  And I don’t care what Michelle Obama says!  Tofu ham ain’t the same!  Tastes like paint flavored cardboard seasoned with old sock sweat.  And no, Spam isn’t a suitable substitute!  I’m not sure it even has meat in it.   Don’t believe me?  Ask anyone who served in the army during Korea or Vietnam.

We must take action America!  Perhaps we should all abandon those useless backyard flower gardens and turn them into hog farms ASAP!  Bacon lovers–unite!

Best of 106.3 The Buzz

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://1063thebuzz.com using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for BuzzHead VIP Club quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive BuzzHead VIP Club contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.