Lady Gaga famously wore a dress constructed of meat to the VMAs in 2010, but raw beef didn’t exactly catch on and become a fashionable fabric because of it. However, if there is a lady in your life who likes the look of red, raw veins on her person or if you have some sick and twisted fetish that involves beef, then nab a pair of muscle leggings from Black Milk Clothing for her, and they’ll have the same effect. She can show off her “calves,” too. Zing!

They are called “muscle leggings,” presumably since it’s an easier sell than “meat leggings.” The white tights with intricate, red graphics mimic to look of musculature and of a ham hock.

Even if she doesn’t exactly think meat stockings will go with that new black dress she bought for Valentine’s Day, get them for her anyway, since the power of suggestion is too strong to deny. Maybe you can wear them and ask her to tenderize your meat on Valentine’s Day.

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