There are a handful of dream jobs out there – personal lotion applicator to Kate Upton, nipple puffer for Bar Refaeli, masseuse for John Travolta… wait, what? But, one of the most underrated professions has to be Adult Film Writer.

The porn movie industry has long been known for having horrific dialogue delivered by subpar actors who argue their performances are crap because the writing is crap. Brazzers, the “Best HD Porn Site for Big (Boob) Pornstar Videos and MILF Movies” is aiming to change that. They recently posted an ad on Craiglist looking for a freelance “Adult Film Dialogue / Plot Writer” for both “new, fresh sexual encounter lead ins, as well as some of the old favorites”. You mean, like Betty White?

To apply, you just have to submit your resume and a 1-3 page writing sample of an adult film lead in.

The pay’s not too shabby either – $500 – $1000 per project, which ranges from one to five minutes on screen.

It’s too bad they don’t pay by word, we’d be millionaires – “Oh yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Harder! Faster! Harder! Yes! Oh God, yes! Oh my God! Oh! Oh!”

And because we’re bigger teases than your high school hook up, here are some SFW screenshots from other Brazzers scenes…