Meet Bitten – a ‘Zona hobo who’s into guys with glasses, bats, and the cello. She also likes Tool, Faith No More, Van Morrison, True Romance, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. We want to compliment her but we know she hates overkill, so we’ll just say, “SHE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!”
Man’s attraction to mermaids has been a sexually confusing one. The difficulties have been explored in shows like ‘Futurama‘ and ‘Family Guy’. Sweet upper half usually covered by flowing locks or sea shells, ‘pretty’ lower half but, well, no vagina. Plus, knowing how a fish smells and how some vaginas smell, we can’t really imagine it being all that great if they did have one. It’s known as “The Mermaid Problem“. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a market for women posing as mermaids, as Hannah Fraser has proved.
Meet Katherine – a 19-year-old from the UK whose milkshake literally brings all the boys to the yard. She admits that she’s too vain, spends too much money, and eats too much junk but honestly, whatever she’s doing is working. She also can’t live without her boobs – now we can’t either.
Meet Tangerine – a 22 year old Argentinian who’s into classic rock and the Quentin Tarantino campy horror flick ‘Death Proof’. We’ve always wanted to be Stuntman Mike… minus the whole murdering hot chicks part.
Meet Riae – a 27-year-old SuicideGirl from Italy who’s into Hentai and loves all things Super Mario – Super Mario World, Mario Kart, Yoshi Island, Super Mario Galaxy, and Mario Party 8. We have our Toadstool costume around here somewhere.
There are a handful of dream jobs out there – personal lotion applicator to Kate Upton, nipple puffer for Bar Refaeli, masseuse for John Travolta… wait, what? But, one of the most underrated professions has to be Adult Film Writer.
Meet GoGo – a self proclaimed internet geek who, despite her name, doesn’t dance in a cage or on a pole. She’s really into fur and hair, which is perfect because we’ve completely slacked on our manscaping.
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