Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Dog’s Anus Looks Like Man Perceived as Savior to Billions of People on Earth
We're used to Jesus showing up in a cornflake, or a water stain. Maybe a piece of toast. Not so much a dog's butthole. But there he is, assuming he was real and looked the way he's been painted by a bunch of European artists. Right in a dog's backside...
Monopoly is Boring Because You’ve Been Playing It Wrong
You probably think of Monopoly as that excruciating board game you have to play with your family, unless your mom likes to make her nephews cry and it gets banned from the house (thanks, Mom!). It turns out it's not the Parker Bros.' fault that the game is so mind-numbingly dull -- it&apos…
Awesome Mom Plays Black Keys on the Spoons
Don't be confused by the fact that this video starts with a lady feeding a bunch of kangaroos -- this IS a video of a lady rocking out on the spoons. The kangaroo intro merely adds to its general amazingness.
10 Instances of Alex Trebek Being a Total Jerk
If you don't watch 'Jeopardy!,' then you don't know that Alex Trebek can be a just a *touch* condescending to the contestants. Although to be fair, it's hard not to come across as condescending when you're basically telling people they're wrong over and over again …
Proof That Cookie Monster and Elmo Are Huge Jerks
Cookie Monster got arrested yesterday for shoving a toddler. Obviously it was a man dressed up as Cookie Monster, and it happened in Times Square, where basically nothing good will ever happen, but still, come on Cookie Monster!
Man Buys Poodles, Discovers They’re Actually Ferrets on Steroids
This is not a joke. A man at the largest outdoor bazaar in Buenos Aires bought two toy poodles from a vendor for $150 each. Only he didn't actually buy two poodles. He actually bought two ferrets that were hopped up on steroids and given fancy hairdos so they would look like poodles.
29 People Who Had ONE Job, And Completely Failed at It
Sometimes somebody has one job to do...JUST ONE...and they can't even get it right. These are those times. Here are our favorite examples of the latest internet meme that involves somebody screwing up one simple task. ONE.
This Is the Only Way to Catch a Baseball
We really weren't that excited about baseball season starting until we saw this video. Now we are filled with a burning desire to go to a game, catch a ball in a cup of beer, chug the beer and hold the ball in our mouth.
See All of Google’s April Fool’s Day Pranks
If you're anything like us, you probably have no idea what day it is. Well, it's Monday, April 1st. Yes, it's April Fool's Day, which means that Google is planning to pull the wool over our eyes all day long. Here are some of the pranks they're pulling, in case you are …
9 Tasty Peeps Cocktails That’ll Help You Forget Easter
It's Easter weekend, and we all know what that means -- time to eat some ham and get your crunk on. We've always said if you aren't risking an insulin coma, you aren't really drinking, so here are some Peeps-themed cocktails to prove you love Easter but hate your body...
Melting Chocolate Bunnies Is the Best Way to Celebrate Easter
If you haven't seen this before, now is the time to watch it. It's a piece of video art by Lernert Engleberts and Sander Plug as part of a preschool art project called "Big Art for Little People."
Porn Stars Before and After Makeup Will Blow Your Mind
First of all, we would like to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you in your ... personal time. But we think these photos of porn stars with and without makeup are worth sharing. Totally SFW, they just might blow your mind. The photos come from a professional makeup artist who shares th…