As noble as it may sound, telling a cop that you're a better drunk driver than the rest of the people in the car won't get you out of being arrested. Yes, a dude tried it and I'll tell you all about it in this, the latest edition of my "News of the WTF?". Along with that poor decision, I have the story of a couple who rushed to mark everything off of the husband's bucket list only to find out that the guy wasn't as close to kicking the proverbial bucket as he thought he was. And to top everything off, I scare the hell out of everyone with a beer gut.